I decided to write a letter. No, it’s not Father’s Day, but I thought I would appreciate and say thank you. Over the last couple of months I have seen many blogs, articles and especially Facebook statuses from hurting women because men weren’t doing what they were supposed to do… be a FATHER. So, it was refreshing to see a new dad gush with excitement about his first born child; his status lit up my day so much that I had to write this letter.
Dear Daddy or Daddy to Be–
I am writing with great joy to congratulate you on the new addition to your family. Whether you are a father or soon to be, I am so excited to take part in your joy. You see, your excitement comes at a time where I was losing hope for the children being brought into this world. To listen to the news, watch television, read blogs or even get on Facebook was a pain at times. Statuses filled with hate, criticism, judgment and ridicule highlighted the wounds of mothers across the country crying out for their child to be loved by their father, haunted me. Catchphrases such as: Deadbeat daddy; No good; Running from responsibilities; Sperm donors, along with many other painful words, were prevalent. These words were real, heartfelt and statistically setting the stage for children to possibly experience higher rates of poverty, crime, drug and alcohol abuse, emotional and behavioral problems and lower educational achievement. For any woman it causes you to pose the question, “Are there are any good men in this world left to conceive a child with?”
But you, Daddy or Daddy to be, the one gushing and gleaming with great pride and joy, you make my heart, along with many others, smile. You prove to the world that there are good men and you add to the vast, unnoticed population of already dedicated fathers. Your participation throughout their entire life (not just the beginning months or years) encourages us never to lose hope because your presence emotionally (not just financially) breaks the stigma.
As a future mother, thank you for giving us hope.
Ps: Never lose your zeal.
I talk more about the power of a father’s presence in a woman’s life in my new book The Truth about Ugly Women: I Want Beauty Within. Check it out: www.thetruthaboutuglywomen.com