I’m Pregnant, But I Didn’t Have Sex!

Overall story: this story marks one of the most significant events within Christianity; the Immaculate Conception. (Read Luke 1 for more information, or click HERE).

 The Set-up: the year 2011; Mary, the mother of Jesus, is 7 months pregnant

Photo: dizznbonn

Naturally, when people found out that I was pregnant they started gossiping and telling these wretched lies about me all over town. Seriously, do you know how small Galilee is? And of course, with all of the latest technology, people all the way in Samaria found out within a matter of seconds. Actually, for awhile, Facebook and Twitter were my worst enemies! @Delilah–OMG, did u c Mary’s stomach? @Jezzy–Yeah giirl, I saw it! She says it’s nt Joseph’s babii, but how can she explain that baby bump? @ Delilah–I completely agree! She’s definitely preggo by Joe, she’s not fooling any1.

I mean literally, I had to deal with all of these horrible lies and rumors for almost 7 months of my pregnancy. No one believed me, no one still believes me. But, you know what? I don’t care what they say because I know the Truth and soon He will come to set them free.

Let me tell you the story.

I was at home reading when out of nowhere an angel appears on my kitchen counter. Now, I had been eating Taco Bell late last night so I was thinking that the beans were kicking in, causing me to hallucinate. After I splashed some water onto my face, I realized that this angel wasn’t going anywhere and he was real. He began to speak. At the end of our conversation I told that angel, What in the world? I haven’t had sex before, how is this possible? I was told the unthinkable: I would have a son, His name would be Jesus (we would call Him ‘G’ for short), and He would be a Savior.

Literally, the first couple of things that shot through my mind:

1. Really? I’m engaged to be married—this is not a good look.

2. My future husband is going to think I’ve been cheating and gave someone else the golden ticket (I sure hope this angel visits and tells him about the Immaculate Conception too!!)

3. What are people going to think? Being a virgin, they can’t wait for me to slip up and fall flat on my face; this is going to be tough!

I was a bit nervous to know this baby would be growing inside of me when he first told me; however, after visiting my cousin Eliza, I had such a peace and joy about the whole thing. Even now, six months later, I still have peace and I’m super excited.

Out of everyone that could have been chosen, He chose me? Me?!? I am the mother of Jesus! This really blows my mind. I truly am blessed to have such a Wonderful, Mighty, Beautiful baby growing inside of me. As my favorite commercial goes, Filet o fish from McDonalds, 399 shekels; vacationing in Greece, 2,459 shekels; having Jesus as my son…priceless. Gotta love my baby boy!



Filed under You Think You Know?

17 responses to “I’m Pregnant, But I Didn’t Have Sex!

  1. Love what you did with that story Lakia!

  2. Now that is putting a modern spin on things.

  3. That is really good! I love thinking about how Biblical characters really reacted to their circumstances. Often I don’t have to think too hard, just enough to know how I would or might react.

    Thanks for you comment!

  4. First, my head exploded because of the title. Then, I thought you were claiming you were giving birth to the second coming of Christ. Finally, I realized this was a clever allegory for the birth of Jesus.

    And it was pretty good too.

  5. wow, this is really good! its exactly what you would think if it happened to you. fingers crossed if there is another son of god its nothing to do with me, that would take too much explaining!

  6. Interesting pop culture spin!

  7. Great way to update the story! I was really into it [as if we don’t already know what happens!]

  8. @SAB– thanks so much
    @notes– I tried hehehe
    @myfullcup– this was fun thinking up
    @Harold– thanks a bunch
    @Posky– hahahahaah I’m glad you caught on quickly lol
    @tinkerbelle– and that’s where the inspiration came from. If I were chosen in this day and age, ummmmm, exactly what I wrote I would feel lol
    @sixthirtythree– thank you very much, I appreciate the comment
    @The V– heheehe I’m glad you enjoyed it

    Thanks everyone for reading 🙂 🙂

  9. This is and awesome way to put a new spin on an old story. Great Job.

  10. MP

    I remember when I was a little girl, I kept thinking, Poor Mary!!! She’s got a lotta ‘splainin to do.. (as Ricky would tell Lucy).. I think you totally nailed it!!

  11. So creative, Lakia! I’m a writer myself, and I am always thrilled when I get to read a piece by someone else that really GRABS me. I used to teach Creative Writing at the high school level, and I was so blessed to have a group of students who were totally gifted and creative. It was such a thrill for me to have the honor of knowing them — and then of teaching and coaching them — that I decided to publish a book of their works.

    This is the first chance I’ve had to scout around on other blogs, and after you made the comment on mine, I wanted to know about you and your site. I have enjoyed everything I’ve read on here so far. You are very blessed to feel so passionate about dreaming big and believing you will make those dreams come true. When I have a little more time, I will share with you how the Lord worked in my life to make some of my dearest — and seemingly impossible — dreams come true. Hopefully it will be even more encouragement.

    Blessings. Sandra

  12. Love it! I rand across your blog from a recent comment you made on my latest post. You have found a new reader in me 🙂

  13. anonymous

    hi, i loved the story.you put a modern spin on an old story. If when the rapture comes though theres like a second birth of christ i think im in trouble. im 100% virgin the most interaction ive had with a boy is punching one and yet, i am showing many of the signs of pregnancy.

  14. Love this 🙂 WOW WOW WOW…

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