I’m A Big Girl Now

Photo: yprincess.org


“You’re not grown!” “I’m more grown than you!” “I’m grown!”

 Have you ever heard these phrases before? I’ve been toggling with this word, grown, for the past couple of years, trying to understand its meaning. Personally, I hold this conversation piece dear to my heart because I have had numerous instances where others have looked at me as though I were not “grown.” When I try to gain clarity, I never get a clear-cut answer; no one is willing to expound, only allude to certain facts. Since I am one who reads between the lines, I draw my own conclusions: Becaues I don’t have children or husband I am looked at as having less responsibilities; I am “less grown.” Ok, I know this statement is very bold; however, it’s from personal experiences and observations that I stand on this belief.

My definition of being grown: It is a person who exudes maturity and takes care of his or her responsibilities (no matter how big or small it may seem)—key words are maturity and responsibility.

If we are to measure my definition against another’s assessment of “being grown,” we would see a vast inconsistency. In my opinion, to imply that someone is mature and responsible JUST because they have children, husband or wife is foolish. Anyone can make a baby and get married, but what he or she does to nurture and care for that child or make that marriage work, will qualify them as ‘GROWN’ and MATURE.  Again, you can have grown-up responsibilities and still not be viewed as “grown” because you’re not consistent or handling them properly. You can have ten children and not take care of any of them; you can own a home and miss payments left and right because you’re out squandering money—you see what I’m saying?—grown up responsibilities being mishandled. 

I hope I didn’t lose anyone, but I have experienced and witnessed this several times in the past: others having a baby and automatically be considered grown when they haven’t earned that title; those in positions of authority disrespecting those who seem to have fewer responsibilities; and individuals older in age believing they can say or do whatever because they are “grown.” I’m a big girl now…who demands respect. We must BREAK THIS HABIT and love and respect others in their journeys of life, not belittling each other. 

 What are your thoughts??

Make sure you stay tuned for my new book 11-11-11

11-11-11-Mark you calendars ❤



Filed under Inspiration

9 responses to “I’m A Big Girl Now

  1. I will go find the ball for you because hit this one out the park and into the high grass!!

  2. Beautifully written.
    I just published another poem. Hope you like it. 🙂

  3. robinb333

    Your blog displays such wonderful written post, that’s why I’ve nominated you for the VBA….


  4. A book! Sounds inspiring…I found your blog from the comment you left on one of the FP blogs. Nice to meet you.. *waves*

  5. For me you have hit the nail on the head. So often people make assumptions and stereotypes others based on outward appearances. Getting to know the person and seeing that youth does not mean lack of wisdom any more than old age means senility.

    I imagine that being a beautiful intelligent young woman has been difficult for you working in a largely male environment.

    But conversely what a role model you can be for young people to pursue their dreams- not letting society’s conformities stifle or undermine their dreams, or their self-esteem.

    I hope your soon to be published book is a great success and its core message becomes a beacon of hope and encouragement for both men and women alike.

  6. @Nikkele– you are too funny 🙂
    @bottled up– I will be sure to check it out!
    @Colin– Whooooooa “Getting to know the person and seeing that youth does not mean lack of wisdom any more than old age means senility.” That’s really good right there! Also, YES! I was just thinking about this the other day, but I was very much disrespected because I look younger in the work world. In my previous position it was predominately male and I was literally called “sweetie, sweet heart, babe, etc.” and looked at like “just the cute girl.” I experienced the same when I taught as a professor too. I was asked on numerous occasions how I landed the position. It really hurt me at the time, but it never stopped me–I would love to share this message with the world, especially the younger ones achieving greatness at young ages. Thank you so much for your comment! And yes, I pray that my book reaches exactly who it needs to 🙂 Please stay tuned for more!

  7. I have never met you and might never. I have read many of your posts and have commented on some. I have shared emails with you and you have commented on my site. I “see” the way you present yourself. Maybe this does not mean that much coming from someone you have never met before, but I believe that you exude maturity. I believe you are very responsible so by anybody’s definition, you are grown. The point I would like you to see (from my point of view) is that you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Live your life to the best of your ability knowing full well you only answer to God. Others hurt you because you allowed yourself to be hurt. You neglected to stand on the promises and knowledge of who you are in Christ.

    If God is for you Lakia, nobody can stand against you. Again, I don’t know you but I believe you must be a sweet person. You are your parent’s babe and you are a cute girl. One day you will find your soul mate and be his sweetheart. Don’t let the words of others disrespect you. Are you or are you not a child of the Most High God? If so, He will fight your battles. If not, you have much bigger things to worry about than name calling.

    I know I’m a work in progress so pray for me. I’m very sleepy now so I hope what I just wrote makes sense. Peace.

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